Last Night In Singapore - For A Bit

My last night in Singapore was epic. I was just walking to this pub we often frequent to meet some buddies. The well-trodden path to the pub takes you over some railroad tracks; this time however was different than normal. As I walked over the bridge I look down on the tracks and saw this beautiful woman stretched out with her arms and legs tied up. I rushed down, like a knight in shining armor, untied her, scooped her up, and took her back to my place in a very 'Ret Butler-esk' move. The whole scene might as well have been in an old classic black and white movie...

Well needless to say I take this fine Cinderella back to my castle and make made passionate love to her for the remainder of the evening. The next morning I woke up like normal and met my local friends for breakfast and endluge them with this story. I tell them how beautiful this woman was, how she had a perfect figure, perfect body, it was awesome!!

Then one of my buddies turns to me and asks, "Well if her body was that great, how was her face??" I turn to him and say "I dono, I couldn’t find her head at the railroad tracks!!"

Merry Christmas everyone. GO USA!!

From Christmas Party

Walking In a Winter Wonder-Land

Well, the 'wonder-land' part is true, but every time I hear that song the winter part just sorta makes me scratch my head. In spite of the misleading lyrics, they do slowly start to put you in the Christmas mood. Its a good thing the mood was rising because last Friday was the Rolls-Royce Hawaiian Themed Christmas Extravaganza. I had heard these parties have the potential to really turn into shenanigans as a result of the ridiculous entertainment and the free flowing alcohol (both of which I fully support). This year was no exception…

It all starts out when you walk though the door and there are two unbelievably stunning women dressed in bikinis and grass skirts (God bless the Hawaiians) who are there because they heard I was coming . . . . . . . . . . Ok, back to reality. They were there to build the mood and take group photos that I will upload when work posts them online. Bottom line, the lovely ladies made it very clear that this would be like no work party I have ever been to. After we check in the hostesses start bringing out the beer and cocktails that are, if I do say, are just a great second impression to make after an already good first one. We sit down for a buffet style dinner and we all snap a few pics.

From Christmas Party

This is Sanjeev who works full time in Singapore doing the same thing I do. His wife and kids were in India so he was playing the role of a bachlor that evening.

From Christmas Party

This is Patrick and his wife. Patrick is the one that insists that I try durrian, the pouplar tropical fruit that smells like poo, literally. Some people are really quite crazy about the stuff, even though it makes them smell like poo as well.

From Christmas Party

The entertainer for the night was a ventriloquist from Vegas. At first I, along with everyone else, was just thinking about how big a tool this guy is. But after he got started he turned out to be really funny. He didn’t just mouth a puppet but instead got people on stage and mouthed ridiculous things they were saying. In the end it turned out to be really funny. I suppose you should never judge a book by its cover right?

From Christmas Party

This is all the office big wigs doin a hula dance, nice....

From Christmas Party

This is one of our salesmen looking like a big dummy on stage. I forget what he was doing but in this picture but looking at it now he kinda looks like he is taking a $#!^

From Christmas Party

Yea, thats right, I was Bon Jovi for a those lucky enough to be in the audience.

The night led to a few clubs and unfortunately too many drinks as we spent most of the next day recovering. Saturday night we did find this cool bar on the roof of a building downtown called Loof on the Roof (a pun because the Chineese can’t pronounce ‘R’s and it comes out sounding a lot like an 'L'). Its places like Loof that you only find out about if you live somewhere for a while but that really add to the experience.

Sunday we made it to the Zoo. It’s a pretty good zoo with more monkeys than any other zoo in the world. It is probably about the size of the Columbus zoo complete with manatees and everything. Here are a bunch of pictures.

From Christmas Party

From Christmas Party

From Christmas Party

From Christmas Party

From Christmas Party

From Christmas Party

From Christmas Party

Flight of 'The Yellow Dart'

Last time I posted we were all anxiously awaiting ‘The Yellow Dart’ and I am proud to say we both survived the weekend without so much as a hiccup. This post will be about that, and to present some photographic evidence that I actually do have friends here (you’re bastards for thinking they were fake!)

Friday night was pretty uneventful except for the fact that it once again proves that going out here is stupid expensive. Every weekend night I full expect to spend 100 bucks, and that’s mostly on drinks. It was a fun out to a club called insomnia where, fitting to its name, we didn’t get home until entirely too late. Another Friday in Singapore, another good night out.

I woke up relatively early Saturday morning because it was a beautiful day and I had the important task of entertaining ‘The Yellow Dart’ during his short stay. I decided that we should go to an island right off the coast of Singapore that shows what life was like in the good ole’ days, where ‘The Yellow Dart’ is from. To get there you have to take a bumboat, which Rob Flowers would just cringe at the very sight because these things represent everything that OSHA was designed to prevent. They are just old wooden boats, driven by proper pirate types, that leak more water than they keep out, are covered in rusty metal, and don’t come with a single life jacket. Hell, just look at this picture, its gives you the idea.

From The Yellow Dart

From The Yellow Dart

This picture is what the island looks like on the inbound trip.

After a short ride to the island we disembark onto the pier and see this woman walking towards us being escorted by a cop and totally covered in blood. After a brief pause to wonder if this island is actually where the cane people we decided that she must have been a victim of a bike crash and not some conspiracy. I was tempted to take a picture, but guessed that would have been rude. The island I known for renting bikes and just having a lazy day. The central town is tiny with basically no cars and lots and lots of bikes. Here is a good picture of the town and a picture of the town with Adam and ‘The Yellow Dart’

From The Yellow Dart

From The Yellow Dart

We must have ridden around for 3 or 4 hours to some sorta cool places, but once again Singapore is not known for its natural beauty. Here are some pics.

From The Yellow Dart

This is a Buddhist temple with one of its shrines below.

From The Yellow Dart

Here is 'The Yellow Dart' and I on a bridge in what is otherwise an unremarkable picture. After a couple hours of riding, a good seafood meal, and a few beers we jumped back on the bumboat and headed back to the mainland.

I would like to add a note here that the pool at the Shangri-La is pretty much awesome.

After dinner at an Indian restaurant on the river ‘The Yellow Dart’ and I met up with some friends on the 71st floor bar at the Swissotel. I didn’t get any pictures but I will be back there and promises to get some. After that we were out for another night of drinks at Clark Quay. Here are some pictures of the gang.

From The Yellow Dart

This is Beth and Chris, who are both Rolls employees based out of the UK. Chris claims that he hardly drinks back in the UK but for some reason I find that hard to believe and you should too based solely on this picture. Beth is good friends with Kiera from Mount Vernon. They both live in the same apartment building as me.

From The Yellow Dart

This is just more evidence that Chris was happy that night. He is doing the pose that all the Asians seem to do when they get their picture taken. I guess he is hoping to blend in.

From The Yellow Dart

This is Beth’s sister who was visiting for a week, Chris again, and Adam. Adam works with Chris and is here for most of next year. The three of us guys have been hanging out a lot since we all live in the same building. We hang out with several others as well, but these are the regulars. Here is a couple pictures with ‘The Yellow Dart’

From The Yellow Dart

From The Yellow Dart

Remember, what happens in Singapore stays in Singapore!

Well, after a longish break I'm back with another post. The past week has been busy work-wise, so I haven't had as much time to post (I know, I know; excuses are for chumps). Last weekend seems like a distant memory now but it was one to remember because of a series of firsts.

1) First time I have partied till the sun comes up

Unfortunately, I don’t have any pictures from Friday, but it was a good night. At home all the clubs close at 2, here its more like 4:30. Although I would never have guessed I could stay out that late, I suppose I have proved myself wrong because not only did we close down the club at 4:30, we went to an after party where the host cooked positively the worst meal I have ever smelled in my life. The supposed Philippino main course consisted of one whole garlic (no just a clove or two, the whole effing thing), about a pound of pork, and enough soy sauce to make the 'Iron Chef' blush. After simmering for about 30 minutes, it was ready to eat - and then quickly regurgitate. Fortunately, I was able to weasel my way out the impending embarrassing situation and make it home by about 7 AM, well after the sun had come up.

2) First boxing experience, with two of the fights being world title fights!

So it may not have been the ‘Thrilla-in-Manila’, but it was exceptional fun to watch. The first title fight was between an Aussie and a guy from Thailand. It was a very even bout, except for the guy from Thailand just kept passing out. I guess he got hit a little too hard early on and just never recovered.

The second fight was a better fight; this time between an Aussi and a Philippino. The fight went the full 12 rounds at 3 minutes each. I can’t even imagine how tiring that would be. The brochure for the event had a picture of the Australian boxer showing off the title belt he had won in his last fight. The picture showed his nose which was literally attached to his right cheekbone. I guess even in the lower weight classes these guys take a beating. Here are some pictures:

From Boxing and Se...

This picture is right at the start of the main event of the night. They did all sorts to build up the fights, especially the last one. Our seats were only about 50 feet back, and closer and we would have been splattered by sweat.

From Boxing and Se...

This picture shows the Philippino who won the main fight after a full 36 minutes of boxing. It was a little scrappy because the other guy kept trying to get cheap shots and tackle the eventual winner.

All in all, this was a lot of fun and I would definitely watch boxing again.

Sunday brought relaxation and recovery and was capped off with a night at East Coast Park. This is where all the locals go when they go to the beach, not the pseudo-Disney Sentosa Island. The park is about 5 miles long with running paths the whole distance; it is also known for its seafood, which is why we went. Here are a few pictures.

From Boxing and Se...

I am obsessed with the number of container ships here. Notice at the horizon all of the boats, each one is probably at least 200 feet long. It really is incredible. This next picture shows the same seen at night. It looks like a city across a lake, but its really just all the boats waiting to come to the Singapore harbor.

From Boxing and Se...

Here are a couple pictures of the Singapore skyline at dusk and at night. It really is quite beautiful at this park, in spite of the industry that is floating just offshore. I guess I am just a fool for the ocean.

From Boxing and Se...

From Boxing and Se...

For dinner we got two of the traditional Singapore dishes, black pepper crab and drunken prawns. The crab was spicy crab, just like you would expect, and quite good. The drunken prawns are a whole different experience, and sadly we didn’t catch the full spectacle at this restaurant. To make them, the chef takes live pawns and put them in a frying pan filled with boiling alcohol. They are supposed to do this at your table to prove they are live pawns, but sadly they didn’t that night. Apparently, when they do, the prawns jump out of the pot and start running around the table. But AH!! Not so fast!! It’s not that easy to escape my dinner plate!! Back in the pot with you prawn!!

This weekend I have a friend coming in from home. I have recently learned that the audience of this blog is larger than I thought, so this friend will simply be known as ‘The Yellow Dart’. Soooo, check back next week to see what sort of trouble ‘The Yellow Dart’ and myself can get into; and then hopefully back out of. One thing remains certain; what happens in Singapore - stays in Singapore (ironic that I would say that in a blog about my trip to Singapore...).